Two Little Owls

I love music. I enjoy listening to the different sound a single instrument can make, I enjoy the way my body can’t seem to stay still when music is playing, I enjoy the way that the layers of music all work together to create a single master piece, I enjoy the fact that every part, an instrument plays is equally important. 

But most of all, I love how music makes me feel, how it can manipulate my feelings in a single beat… The power of music, is unconditional and universal. 

Today, my exam timetable for my final school exams were posted. I don’t know how to feel. 
Today, I got yelled at by two teachers, telling me to ‘get it together’, but not helping me do that. I don’t know how to feel.
Today, my parental figure didn’t care because the said parental figure also has exams on, and is too busy focusing on parental figures own life. I don’t know how to feel.
Today, was a shit day. but still, I don’t know how to feel.

God, isn’t here. 

Part of me wants to breakdown, another part of me wants to get up walk away, part of me wants to leave completely, move over seas - I could do it - another part of me wants to go see a movie by myself.

God, isn’t here.

Today, I was given a lot of money. I feel happy.
Today, my friend let me borrow her capo in class. I feel grateful
Today, I went and had a browse at the shops. I feel excited
Today, I got 28/30 for my english speech. I feel cleaver
Today, my dad paid for petrol. I feel loved.
Today, my friend sent me a message with 8 bible verses that helped me through the day. I feel godly
Today, My parental figure cared so much for me, by getting me help. I feel soo loved.

God, is here.

Part of me wants to stand on a mountain and yell how great my life is, part of me wants to dance down the street, part of me wants to learn all the songs on the Fleetfoxes album, another part wants to not limit myself by my own thoughts and insecurities.

God, is here.

I can do it - because God IS here.  

So December last year I left a youth group I was apart of, I left because I was getting old and I HATED (still do hate) the fact that people would come, make friends with you then leave, forever, go back to their homes and continue with their lives while you are here withering away in sadness - Maybe not that bad, but it was really annoying.
Anyway.
I left, very suddenly, I had been going there ever Saturday for 4 years. So for me to just leave was a pretty big change in my life. Today, I went back. I went back and hung out for the day… Then it hit me.

I regret leaving. So bad.

I miss all the friends I have there, I miss the kids - who would sometimes make me so angry I could punch them in the face - I miss the atmosphere of the place, and just the PASSION that all the people there have for Jesus. It really does uplift me and my faith.
ANYWAY.

Enough from me.
TTYL - Just going to go write a letter to the manager and ask if they will have me back!!